The specific questions: After eating a cheesesteak, isn't heaven just a step down?
Now kind bloggers, Q realizes that we are a nation of fast - fast thrills, fast action, fast internet, fast wars...that never end, and of course - a hallmark - fast foods. Would Geno's in South Philly
be considered fast foods? Maybe that is a question for another week. But on this snowy day, up and down the east coast, Q can imagine that first luscious bite of a much
anticipated crusty bun, some uber-processed fluorescent cheese, and fried steak strips that need a thick, stale bun to prevent oozing fat from breaking apart the sandwich before your mouth can
reach its soulful parts.
But, not ten minutes from consumption, you can feel that esophagus growling, the heart beginning to burn...and you forgot to pack the sample size tums.
Pain in the body begins, and calories are churning inside you - maybe not planning to move out or redistribute any time soon...and this is when, my friendly bloggers,
the question comes to mind for A: After eating a cheesesteak, isn't heaven just a step down? I mean, didn't you just reach a place more sublime than heaven with
each greasy bite, only to plummet to a physical space way beneath an imagined hell.
Digest this one, A!
A: For the purposes of this reply cheesesteak shall refer to a properly made cheesesteak (real sliced rib-eye steak, fresh crusty bread, onions and 100% artificial cheese) created in or immediately around the Philadelphia Metropolitan area.
This explicitly excludes anything created in the 49 states not named Pennsylvania and any city that doesn't end in 'hiladelphia'. I suspect the vast majority of the symptoms experienced by Q following her consumption of a 'cheesesteak' was because she choose a "philly style sandwich" instead of a Philly Cheesesteak.
Now a brief list of why is a cheesesteak superior to heaven.
1) Cheesesteaks are tangible and readily obtainable by even the least religious and disbelieving of mankind. Heaven is more like a VIP club open only to the best and most pious individuals of certain religions.
2) There is nothing to hope for beyond heaven. One who reaches heaven can't reasonably expect a better place and therefore loses all hope of improving her/his situation. Consumption of a cheesesteak always allows for the consumption of another cheesesteak. Therefore a cheesesteak sustains and celebrates the essential human element of hope.
3) Heaven is the reward for living a good life and following specific religious teachings. At $8 or less a cheesesteak requires considerably less resources and is a much more efficient use of human resources.
4) Cheesesteaks are available for all human beings while Heaven's entry guidelines are discriminatory enough to prevent it from getting Federal funding.
5) Heaven is only open to the believers. Cheesesteaks make believers out of all those whose mouths are open.
A: For the purposes of this reply cheesesteak shall refer to a properly made cheesesteak (real sliced rib-eye steak, fresh crusty bread, onions and 100% artificial cheese) created in or immediately around the Philadelphia Metropolitan area.
This explicitly excludes anything created in the 49 states not named Pennsylvania and any city that doesn't end in 'hiladelphia'. I suspect the vast majority of the symptoms experienced by Q following her consumption of a 'cheesesteak' was because she choose a "philly style sandwich" instead of a Philly Cheesesteak.
Now a brief list of why is a cheesesteak superior to heaven.
1) Cheesesteaks are tangible and readily obtainable by even the least religious and disbelieving of mankind. Heaven is more like a VIP club open only to the best and most pious individuals of certain religions.
2) There is nothing to hope for beyond heaven. One who reaches heaven can't reasonably expect a better place and therefore loses all hope of improving her/his situation. Consumption of a cheesesteak always allows for the consumption of another cheesesteak. Therefore a cheesesteak sustains and celebrates the essential human element of hope.
3) Heaven is the reward for living a good life and following specific religious teachings. At $8 or less a cheesesteak requires considerably less resources and is a much more efficient use of human resources.
4) Cheesesteaks are available for all human beings while Heaven's entry guidelines are discriminatory enough to prevent it from getting Federal funding.
5) Heaven is only open to the believers. Cheesesteaks make believers out of all those whose mouths are open.
